I don't think online dating is anymore soul destroying than the damage that is already buried deep within our soul to begin with when setting out with dating. Get yourself whole, happy, AdFind Your Special Someone Online. Choose the Right Dating Site & Start Now!Types: All Ages Dating Sites, Senior Dating Sites, Gay Dating Sites AdCompare Online Dating Sites, Join the Right Site For You & Meet Singles Online! Compare Dating Sites with Genuine Profiles. Meet Local Singles & Find Your blogger.com has been visited by 10K+ users in the past monthService catalog: Video Chat, See Profiles, Find Singles Nearby, Match with AdEveryone Knows Someone Who's Met Online. Join Here, Browse For Free. Everyone Know Someone Who's Met Online. Start Now and Browse for Free ... read more
It is just mind boggling. In regard to your comment about men having to be super sexy, successful, and charismatic to get any attention at all, I don't really believe that. That's not who I'm after anyway. Sure it's appealing, but we have to be realistic. As for the numbers game-well, I have met way too many already.
When does it end? At what number do you just say, " That's it!! I'm done"!! Probably when you start to get so down and depressed about it, that it affects everything else in your life-the point I'm at now. One other possibility is that these guys are dealing with 2 or more women at the same time on these sites. They are just saying all the "right things" that they know women want to hear, just to continue stringing them along and keeping them interested.
When he finally decides which one he's going to pursue, he simply drops the rest. I know that doesn't make you feel any better, but it might help you to understand the way things work on there. Please, no more frowns! Yes I know that they are talking to and meeting other women. But we are talking a change of mind in HOURS, or the very next day. I've come to the conclusion to not believe ANYTHING that is said by men, and just see what happens.
I actually went looking for more meetups last night, but couldn't find any. Oh and also-back in December-right around New Year's Eve, I came on here to warn all women about guys from dating sites. I had actually gone out once with a sexual predator. I SWEAR I cannot make this stuff up!! So, not only is it soul-destroying, but it can be VERY dangerous. Of course I take the right precautions though-to get there by myself, and always meet in a public place. Both cases were actually in the news.
I ALWAYS get the spelling of a guy's last name before we meet,and I Google him, but this one got away from me. I was SICK when I found out. Dear me.. we know not all guys are the same and I know some guys also have a raw deal thanks for sharing xxxxxx.
Sadly the only good explanation beyond a terrible accident is that it was never true. It takes a bit of time. As far as the sexy, successful, charismatic thing goes, if you believe the internet at least on some apps you have to be pretty much universally appealing on a superficial level to get attention.
So if you stop actively getting likes for whatever reason fewer people see your profile creating a cycle that means eventually almost nobody sees your profile. As far as when does it end goes, when you finally get lucky and find the right one or you give up and try something different. I'm feeling better today. My meetup just posted dinner at the Outback on Friday night, so I have that to look forward to!
I have decided that I will do things a bit differently from now on. I get contacted a lot by men who are clearly too far away. If it's someone I might be interested in, I let them know it's just too far. Most of the time they want to meet anyway. We meet, I get ghosted. Could be because of the distance.
Who knows. So I'm not even going to bother with anyone over 25 miles anymore, no matter what he says. The other thing is, I'll have ONE phone call with someone before I meet him. No need for him to be wasting my time with multiple phone calls, and then back out. Third, I'm going to just sit back and wait. If they are interested, they will find me. I used to search through profiles, and then if a guy saw that I viewed him and was interested, he would contact me. No more.
I'm not even doing searches anymore. I have CLEARLY put too much time and energy into online dating. It has gotten me nowhere. I have better things to do with my time. I feel like I just read a post that I wrote? So without hesitation I can say I totally know how you feel. I gave up on online dating because it is soul sucking wish I knew the answer here. Just know I feel your pain. Thank you so much for that! I know from doing a lot of reading on the subject that many women go through the same thing.
But to have someone directly reply to my post, and just reading it online makes a big difference! Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
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Downandout in reply to faulhallen. faulhallen in reply to Downandout Downandout in reply to Downandout Downandout in reply to Frumpyfifty. Not what you're looking for? Online Dating is Killing Me does anyone here tried online dating here? what's your opinion about that? i simply just want to ask you guys about something.
i had this very special relationship back. Thankful for kind souls Even though I may sound like a broken record crying out, so many of you beautiful souls reach out to. What do you think of online dating? Anyone have Dark Night of the Soul workshops, support groups and, yet, I don't know what to do.
I don't know what I can do. It all View more posts. Related Posts. Dating Dating Anxiety and Dating Stress This monster has destroyed my emotional well being and so here I am, asking for help. Old souls warning Online Support with regular meetings?
Contact us. ADAATeamRachel Administrator. He may be unhinged. All group shots? Excuse me whilst I deactivate all 17 of my other profiles and pick out my wedding dress. What do you love most about online dating, is it the tigers? Tweet us and let us know…. Sustainability Awards Cost of Living Love and sex Royal News Hormones Free Charlotte Tilbury Consultation. Marie Claire is supported by its audience.
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy. And this breaking into attributes turns out not to be very informative. So he decided to set up a website that could better deliver what people want to know about each other before they become attracted. His model was real dates. If you and I went out, and we went somewhere, I would look at how you react to the outside world.
What music you like, what you don't like, what kind of pictures you like, how do you react to other people, what do you do in the restaurant. And through all these kind of non-explicit aspects, I will learn something about you. His online system gave visitors an avatar with which to explore a virtual space.
It wasn't about where you went to school and what's your religion; it was about something else, and it turns out it gave people much more information about each other, and they were much more likely to want to meet each other for a first date and for a second date. Badiou found the opposite problem with online sites: not that they are disappointing, but they make the wild promise that love online can be hermetically sealed from disappointment.
The septuagenarian Hegelian philosopher writes in his book of being in the world capital of romance Paris and everywhere coming across posters for Meetic , which styles itself as Europe's leading online dating agency. Their slogans read: "Have love without risk", "One can be in love without falling in love" and "You can be perfectly in love without having to suffer".
Badiou worried that the site was offering the equivalent of car insurance: a fully comp policy that eliminated any risk of you being out of pocket or suffering any personal upset.
But love isn't like that, he complains. Love is, for him, about adventure and risk, not security and comfort. But, as he recognises, in modern liberal society this is an unwelcome thought: for us, love is a useless risk. And I think it's a philosophical task, among others, to defend it. Across Paris, Kaufmann is of a similar mind. He believes that in the new millennium a new leisure activity emerged.
It was called sex and we'd never had it so good. He writes: "As the second millennium got underway the combination of two very different phenomena the rise of the internet and women's assertion of their right to have a good time , suddenly accelerated this trend Basically, sex had become a very ordinary activity that had nothing to do with the terrible fears and thrilling transgressions of the past. All they needed to do was sign up, pay a modest fee getting a date costs less than going to see a film , write a blog or use a social networking site.
Nothing could be easier. In a sense, though, sex and love are opposites. One is something that could but perhaps shouldn't be exchanged for money or non-financial favours; the other is that which resists being reduced to economic parameters.
The problem is that we want both, often at the same time, without realising that they are not at all the same thing. And online dating intensifies that confusion. Take sex first. Kaufmann argues that in the new world of speed dating, online dating and social networking, the overwhelming idea is to have short, sharp engagements that involve minimal commitment and maximal pleasure.
In this, he follows the Leeds-based sociologist Zygmunt Bauman , who proposed the metaphor of "liquid love" to characterise how we form connections in the digital age. It's easier to break with a Facebook friend than a real friend; the work of a split second to delete a mobile-phone contact. In his book Liquid Love, Bauman wrote that we "liquid moderns" cannot commit to relationships and have few kinship ties.
We incessantly have to use our skills, wits and dedication to create provisional bonds that are loose enough to stop suffocation, but tight enough to give a needed sense of security now that the traditional sources of solace family, career, loving relationships are less reliable than ever.
And online dating offers just such chances for us to have fast and furious sexual relationships in which commitment is a no-no and yet quantity and quality can be positively rather than inversely related. After a while, Kaufmann has found, those who use online dating sites become disillusioned. But all-pervasive cynicism and utilitarianism eventually sicken anyone who has any sense of human decency.
This is going to be a very long post. I read somewhere someone calling online dating "soul destroying". It stuck with me because I cannot think of a better word. I have nice photos up, and am told a very nice profile. I get a lot of attention, but I have to admit that I am picky, so I don't go out on that many dates.
I am SO down and depressed over it. Actually, I'm starting to feel NUMB to the whole experience. It's disappointment after disappointment. Some like me, I don't like them. Some are not interested in me, me in them. And that's all fine and good.
I understand that. Just a few weeks ago, I met a really nice Australian guy. Things went so well. We were in touch after the date, he had said he wanted to see me again, etc. Two days later, that VERY MORNING, he called me at A. His exact words were-" I like you, you're fun to be with, and you're very attractive. When can I talk to you again"? So I said I could call him at that morning, when I had a break.
I called him and it went to voicemail. I left a message and NEVER heard back from him. We DO live 70 miles away, but he told me that wasn't a problem. Well if it suddenly became a problem, why would he say those things to me, acting like he wanted to see me again?
Just one more example. We do live far miles. We talked for hours in the morning and hours at night. We planned to meet next weekend. Immediately yesterday I knew something was wrong. You get to know someone's texting style, and when it goes off course, you just know that the whole thing is going south.
So he called me this morning with some bs story. I could TELL it was bs. So what happened from one day to the next? Distance problem again? Then just say that. I only WISH there were other ways to meet men.
I work from home, so that's not happening. I've asked friends and family if they know someone for me-no. I go to a meet-up group. None there. And I've NEVER met anyone in the grocery store! I'm very careful with looking at the profiles and the photos. Sometimes you can just tell when a guy is a player, by his photos.
I stay away. Won't go anywhere NEAR them. I don't know what to do anymore. It's one disappointment after another.
As I said-soul destroying. I have plenty to do to keep me busy, between working full time, having 3 dogs, seeing my daughter, a meet-up group, etc. But whenever I close my day care at , I just feel so lonely and depressed. It doesnt matter that I have other things going on, I also do crafting. I am looking for someone special and it hasn't happened in 3 years. I'm not even sure why I wrote this. I guess just to vent. I DO know one thing though-even when a guy insists that distance is not too far, I'm not going to take it any further, and also, I'm not going to waste hours of my time on the phone with anyone anymore.
If there is a date, we can find out more about each other at that time. I have stopped even telling my friends and daughter when I have a potential date. The same thing keeps happening over and over and over and I feel like a fool. NOW it's happening before I even MEET the person. At first, online dating sites seem like a great idea. You get to screen potential dates, and learn about them before meeting them.
It's a big timesaver. Meeting someone should be a piece of cake! But real life gets in the way. People play all kinds of games on there, and you usually end up with the same disappointments that you would with socializing any other way.
It's no "magic bullet". In fairness, I had met a few nice women on those sites. But after awhile, I learned not to get my hopes up too high. Unfortunately for me, there is really no other way. I hate to lump all men into the same category, game players , but if that's all I'm getting I just ask myself WHY??? WHY say those things and then ghost-4 hours later, the next day, whatever? Makes NO sense. Do some men have nothing better to do than to waste all my time, then ghost??
I feel SOO LOW. I call online dating soul destroying Will read your post.. a lot of people generally can not be honest I understand people not being interested. That's totally fine. But the problem enters when they act as if they are still interested, everything seems to be fine, then they disappear. If they are not interested, then don't follow up at all.
It's rude, but at least I would get the point-immediately. To stay, chat and laugh is cruel. It really is. Because then you are left sitting there wondering what the heck you said or did to turn them off. I let men know immediately when I am not interested. If they send me a text after the date, I DON'T LET THEM WAIT. I just very politely tell them that I had a nice time, but do not think we are a good match. And it feels terrible to do that, but there is NO WAY I am going to lead someone on, if I'm just not feeling it.
And what's with the 50 compliments on the date itself? They give all these compliments, then ghost?? They should just keep their mouth shut!! They cannot be honest, they find it difficult! And because they can ghost they do its easiest for them for some reason, maybe guys find it difficult to tell females they are not interested I wish I, like you, could just ACCEPT the fact, after 3 years, that I'm never going to meet someone like this.
If I had another way, I would. But with each ghosting, or disappointment, my feelings get worse, and I feel even more depressed.
AdFind Your Special Someone Online. Choose the Right Dating Site & Start Now!Types: All Ages Dating Sites, Senior Dating Sites, Gay Dating Sites AdCompare Online Dating Sites, Join the Right Site For You & Meet Singles Online! Compare Dating Sites with Genuine Profiles. Meet Local Singles & Find Your blogger.com has been visited by 10K+ users in the past monthService catalog: Video Chat, See Profiles, Find Singles Nearby, Match with AdEveryone Knows Someone Who's Met Online. Join Here, Browse For Free. Everyone Know Someone Who's Met Online. Start Now and Browse for Free I don't think online dating is anymore soul destroying than the damage that is already buried deep within our soul to begin with when setting out with dating. Get yourself whole, happy, ... read more
Probably when you start to get so down and depressed about it, that it affects everything else in your life-the point I'm at now. There are tons of meet-up groups, but either they are too far, or the ages are just too young. To stay, chat and laugh is cruel. Kaufmann argues that in the new world of speed dating, online dating and social networking, the overwhelming idea is to have short, sharp engagements that involve minimal commitment and maximal pleasure. Or if 'love' sounds too off-putting, for a little affection, for a little attentiveness to our partners, given they are human beings and not just sex objects.Reuse this content. of course I failed at every corner, it made me ill I feel like I just read a post that I wrote? We DO live 70 miles away, but he told me that wasn't a problem. So at the online dating soul destroying let me say that I met my wife through online dating! And online dating intensifies that confusion.